I shared it on the ‘gram, but I think it’s time to talk about my big news here: I’m pregnant. Is this a good thing? DUH. Who wouldn’t want to see more of my genes running around the world? But, truly, this is an exciting new adventure for me (and my beau). I’m pumped to watch a little person grow and explore the world.
- It’s a boy
- He’s due Christmas Day (!)
- I’m currently 24 weeks and 2 days, which means I’m almost done with my 2nd trimester (Trimester #3 begins at week 27 – less than 3 weeks away)
- He’s already got a name. My husband is the 4th and I ain’t breaking that chain…which means you can figure it out. I’ll say it out loud if people ask but feel strange typing it out. I’m too superstitious. He’ll likely go by a nickname (so nobody confuses him with his father or grandfather), but we won’t be sharing that one til birth.
- Yes, I’m vaccinated (got vaxxed while pregnant at the strong urging of my team of specialists) and excited to pass along some of that Pfizer magic in-utero.
- It’s been an extremely easy pregnancy. Zero morning sickness and veryyy few symptoms in general. I am VERY lucky and thankful. That said, I’d just…rather not be pregnant, mostly because I miss alcohol and crop tops and being able to run long distances. Gotta keep it real.
You’re probably thinking “but Tess, you’re 36…aren’t you kinda old? What was the hold up?” Well, I’ll be totally honest: I loved my life and I wasn’t ready for it to change. I didn’t meet my beshert til a bit later in life (27) and we didn’t get married until a few years after that. I was really enjoying living [kid free] married life together – traveling, staying at the bars til 2 am (or later), ordering everything on the menu without worrying about cost. You know, that DINK life. Until more of our NYC-based friends started having kids, we weren’t ready for a lifestyle change. And then you know that saying about G-d laughing when you make plans? Yea, that happened. Once we decided to throw caution to the wind and grow our family (NOTE: I say “grow” not “start” because you don’t need a child to be a family – let’s normalize that.), it turned out I had some issues [NOT age related] that would prevent me from ever getting pregnant naturally. So once we did decide we were ready to give parenting the old college try, it took about 2 more years to get here. I’m planning a couple of posts that speak directly about infertility, but for now I’ll just say I’m super thankful to be where I’m at right now.
Another bit of [brutal] honesty: part of the hesitation on my end was that I never yearned to physically be pregnant (“the miracle of life” blah blah blech) and I’m really not into babies. I LOVE LOVE LOVE kids. If this baby popped out as a potty trained 4-year-old, I’d be thrilled. But I never found “baby smell” intoxicating and I, frankly, get a little annoyed that babies can’t really engage with you or speak to tell you why they’re crying. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’ll feel differently when it’s mine. I might never feel differently, but I needed to wait til I was mature enough to say “‘baby’ is just a phase that you’ll get through and soon you’ll have a kid – and you love kids.” I was 33 when I reached that level of maturity.
While my distaste for babies sounds coldhearted and cringe-y, I promise I’m ecstatic about what’s to come. I realized that the stuff I’m not excited about is all minor and very short lived, but there’s sooooo much that I am truly pumped about. See? Maturity!
Things I’m Looking Forward To:
- Reading. My Mom and Grandpa read to me alllll the time and I developed an extreme love of books that I want to pass along to my little one. It’s years away, but I can’t wait to start reading Harry Potter together.
- Boy Things. It’s no secret that I had a gender preference and was ecstatic when I found out we were having a boy. I’m comfortable with boys. Not only was I raised tomboy-ish, but I grew up with a brother and almost all boy cousins…who all had boy kids…as did almost all of my friends. It’s what I know. In my experience, boys have all sorts of energy and I can’t wait to run around with him. Camping? Talking about dinosaurs? Playing with trucks? Sign me up. And, of course, he could totally defy these assumptions and be into other things AND THAT’S AWESOME TOO. I completely recognize that I’m playing into heteronormative gender stereotypes here, but know that I’ll adore this child and find common ground no matter what.
- Excuses for Activities. I love going to museums/parks/exhibits and having a kid is a great excuse to explore. A 36-year-old going to the Sloomoo Institute alone is weird…with a child it’s called fun bonding.
- Watching Albert be a Dad. I’m not so concerned that I’m not into babies because I’ve seen my husband with them and he’s a natural. He’s also like a kid himself so I truly can’t wait to watch their relationship develop. I already know they’ll have their own little thing.
- Walks. I hate the cold and pretty much shut myself indoors during the winter months. However, I hear babies need fresh air so I’m glad he’ll force me outside. Without a “purpose” I don’t always take myself on walks, but I always love it when I’m outside. It’s a lot of “why don’t I do this more often” moments. I’m excited to take him out for some stroller exploring where we get to look around our beautiful city, enjoy a podcast, and clear our heads.
- Mini Everything. Tiny forks…tiny sweaters…tiny drivable cars. As someone who lives for an amuse bouche, I find all the miniature baby accoutrements adorable.
- Holidays. I have a big family and holidays were always extremely joyous, tradition-filled events, packed with people. The pandemic/quarantine has made me acutely aware of how much I enjoy family-filled holiday celebrations. Adding another kid to the mix just gets us closer to the holiday experiences I loved growing up. (And, though I hope we’re not dealing with this much longer, it means pandemic holidays will automatically be less lonely.)