Yesterday marked eight years of marriage for us! For me, this year felt like the year of thinking longterm. For our family unit, we could no longer push off the decision of Finn’s school; for our marriage, we thought a lot about truly settling into a groove. I’m liking where we’re at and proud of us for tackling the big decisions – together.
And now it’s time for our annual blind questionnaire! (I feel like this year we got particularly serious.)
What were we up to this time last year? Find out here.
- What is a small gesture you do for your spouse to make them feel special?
- Albert: I try to surprise you with flowers every now and then to help brighten your day/week!
- Tess: Welp! This makes me realize I need to do more because I get so caught up in the day and haven’t made many small gestures lately – but those little things really add up – and I want him to feel special! One thing I like to do is pick up a Jarrito’s (glass bottle only) whenever I see them. They’re not sold everywhere, and I know he likes having one with his Taco Tuesday meal. I’m also trying to be better about being decisive and just picking a restaurant and telling Albert where to go. I know he gets decision fatigue and doesn’t always want the burden of planning so I’m trying to absorb that load more often.
- Favorite date night from the last year?
- Albert: Was fun to go to a St. John’s game and keep that tradition going from years past!
- Tess: In May, we had a fun double date of kbbq followed by karaoke with Billy and Emily. I love an interactive meal and any opportunity to belt some showtunes. Second fave was probably Bryant Park movie night – it had been years since we’d gone, but it’s always fun. Both date nights gave off that “just like old times” feeling.
- What’s one expectation you have for marriage? Meaning, what’s something that should always be happening in a relationship (a vibe, an action, whatever)?
- Albert: We should always be trying to find little (or big!) ways to improve and grow, just like a sports team!
- Tess: COMMUNICATION. I think both of us struggle to talk about feelings, but it’s important to be open about what’s going through your mind as you’re feeling it. Also, Albert has reminded me that that communication rule goes for the bad and the good. It’s important to be vocal about the positives. Basically, just be vocal. (For someone as loud as me, it’s kind of shocking this is something I really need to work on.)
- What’s a restaurant you’d like to try together?
- Albert: It’d be fun to find a new red sauce/Italian spot since Picco Angelo is no more (at least for now…)
- Tess: Lord’s for British food or maybe the newish piano bar on the UES.
- How do you think we handle disagreements, and what can we do better?
- Albert: I think we’ve certainly made some good strides in terms of “healthy arguing” but could improve in terms of focusing on active listening during a disagreement, rather than trying to win the disagreement.
- Tess: We’ve been getting much better about recognizing when we need to just walk away and give each other space, but there is still a lot of work to do when it comes to yelling. I am highly uncomfortable when voices are raised, and I think we need to be much more aware of when that is happening.
Peaches to Apples 