They call it the Seven Year Itch, but I’m just as happy to be married as ever. Our lives, however, have changed drastically since the early days of our marriage: we now have a child, our careers are different, and because many friends have grown their families and/or moved away from the city in the last few years, our lifestyle didn’t revert to pre-covid ways just because the rest of the world feels more or less normal. I ain’t itchin to go anywhere, but I can acknowledge that – for the first time – I understand when people say marriages require some effort. I still maintain that it shouldn’t feel hard (and happy to report that mine doesn’t!), but there needs to be some awareness when it comes to your partner so they feel like just that: a partner (and not some rando entity you cohabitate with).
Like every year, I had fun doing our little blind questionnaire. I was so happy to see we had several similar answers – I’m pretty sure that means neither of us is feeling that Seven Year Itch – more like Seventh Heaven!
Stroll down memory lane with last year’s anniversary post here
- What is a pet peeve about your spouse?
- Albert: Not wanting to sleep (or have) the window open… Sometimes some cool, fresh air is just what the dr. ordered for a good night’s sleep or watching College Football.
- Tess: There are three things that “bother” me (nothing major but…you know): 1) He doesn’t put anything back in the pantry. He retrieves the snacks from there, which means he knows exactly where they go, but then he just leaves them on the counter when he’s done eating and it’s up to me to tidy up. 2) He has a huge stack of clothes on a chair in the bedroom instead of putting them away in the closet/dresser and a nightstand messy with random papers that could likely be thrown away. 3) He’ll work up quite a stinky sweat at the gym but then just sit around for hours smelling up the place before showering. If these are my biggest qualms, I’d say I landed me a good one.
- Favorite date night from the last year?
- Albert: Brew at the Zoo! Lots of things in play… Friday night, beautiful weather, unique location, lots of beverages and while some friends also attended, it was a good mix of checking it out on our own and spending time with friends.
- Tess: Either Brew at the Zoo or our Bronx Bar Crawl (both allowed us to stroll together and happened to be with some of our besties, The Gorinsons!)
- What’s the best marriage advice you can give?
- Albert: Communication is key and there’s always ways for a marriage to improve – just like a Sports Team!
- Tess: Don’t overpromise and underdeliver. This was advice one of my first bosses ever told me about work and it really helped me get in line. I think it applies to relationships as well. I don’t care if Albert goes out; I do care when he texts saying he’s on the way and then doesn’t show up til two hours later. It’s all about managing expectations.
- Name your favorite co-watch (or a show you’d like to start co-viewing with your spouse).
- Albert: College Football (sans Notre Dame, since I like watching those games alone)… There’s always yummy treats involved! Only Murders in the Building is a close 2nd since it usually lines up with Taco Tuesday!
- Tess: This Is Us or Only Murders in the Building. I’m pushing for us to watch The Regime or The Gentlemen together next.
- What’s your love language? (And what do you think your spouse’s love language is?)
- Albert: For me, it’s quality time and for Tess, I would say a little mix of acts of service and words of affirmation.
- Tess: Quality Time and Acts of Service are my ideal ways to receive love. (And I’m probably best at expressing it in those ways too.) I actually think Albert is the same, but I’ve noticed that Words of Affirmation go a long way with him and may edge out Acts of Service.
Peaches to Apples 